2007 Summer Movie Preview: July
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Ah, July -- the month when we seek out the dark, air-conditioned bowels
of our neighborhood movie theater in an effort to flee the oppressive
heat of summer. So what can you look forward to seeing between June
and August? Anything that'll distract you from giggling, text-messaging
kids, your legs sticking to your seat, and the 20% of your paycheck
you just dropped on tickets and "refreshments"? Well, that
depends on your cinematic appetite, but perhaps more than any other
month this summer, July offers something for everybody -- you've got
comedy, horror, action, and big-budget sequels...but why are we telling
you this now? Read on!
License to Wed (Warner Bros., July 4)
Starring: Robin Williams, Mandy
Moore, John Krasinski, Eric Christian Olsen, Christine Taylor, Josh
Flitter
Director: Ken Kwapis
Rating: NR
The Pitch: Ben (Krasinski) and Sadie (Moore) are newly
engaged and looking forward to the wedding -- but before they can get
to the altar, they'll have to pass their reverend's marriage-prep course.
And since their reverend is being played by Robin Williams, that's sure
to be easier said than done.
The Buzz: Moore has shown an amazing lack of sense
when it comes to choosing her roles; it's getting to the point that
we no longer care how cute she is. And Williams? We gave up on him long
ago. John Krasinski of "The Office," however, is another story
-- his presence could signify good things for the movie. Without a trailer,
though, we're eyeing this one suspiciously.
Trailer Highlight: None available.
Bottom Line: Wait for the trailer. Actually, you should
most likely just wait for the rental.
Official Site: N/A
Transformers
(DreamWorks, July 4)
Starring: Peter Cullen (voice), Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh
Duhamel, Jon Voight, Bernie Mac, Tyrese Gibson, Rachael Taylor, Amaury
Nolasco, Kevin Dunn, Ronnie Sperling, Dane Cook
Director: Michael Bay
Rating: NR
The Pitch: Opposing teams (races? Brands? Whatever)
of shape-changing robots, the Autobots and Decepticons, bring their
battle to Earth in a live-action/CGI slugfest of epic proportions, Michael
Bay style.
The Buzz: Like He-Man and G.I. Joe, the Transformers
went away for awhile in the early '90s, but thanks to Cartoon Network
and our bottomless national appetite for short-term nostalgia, they've
enjoyed a resurgence during the last few years. In Bay, the film has
essentially its perfect director. The cast isn't even secondary.
Trailer Highlight: Gotta be the brief, top-down shot
of Optimus Prime going from big rig to humanoid interplanetary badass.
Bottom Line: Should attract every 15-to-34-year-old
male in America on opening weekend, or at least enough of them to earn
Bay a few more summer homes.
Official Site: http://www.transformersmovie.com/
1408 (Dimension, July 13)
Starring: John Cusack, Samuel
L. Jackson, Mary McCormack, Tony Shalhoub
Director: Mikael Håfström
Rating: R
The Pitch: A writer (Cusack) channels his grief over
his daughter's death into a pursuit -- and then rejection -- of the
supernatural. After hearing about a hotel room that supposedly kills
people, he sets out to debunk the myth; things go downhill from there.
The Buzz: It's an adaptation of a Stephen King short
story, which means it's equally likely to be great as it is to suck,
but the great cast doesn't hurt, and the trailer -- although reliant
on its share of clichéd bugaboos -- looks sufficiently creepy.
Trailer Highlight: "Daddy, everybody dies."
Bottom Line: If you're looking for reasons not to go,
you won't find them here.
Official Site: http://www.1408-themovie.com/
Harry
Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Warner Bros., July 13)
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie
Coltrane, Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon, Gary Oldman, Alan Rickman,
Emma Thompson, David Thewlis, Helena Bonham Carter, Imelda Staunton,
Katie Leung
Director: David Yates
Rating: NR
The Pitch: Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts is darkened
by the return of Voldemort, as well as the Minister for Magic's appointment
of an incompetent professor to teach Defense of the Dark Arts.
The Buzz: Director Yates hasn't done much before, but
the "Potter" series has proven to be fairly bulletproof, at
least in terms of commercial returns.
Trailer Highlight: Harry going all teen-angst aggro
on Rickman.
Bottom Line: Never exactly a cheerful kids' tale, Harry
Potter's saga takes a darker turn after the fourth installment; if your
kids were disturbed by the last film, proceed with caution.
Official Site: http://www.harrypotter.com/
The Strangers (Rogue, July 13)
Starring: Liv
Tyler, Scott Speedman, Gemma Ward
Director: Bryan
Bertino
Rating: NR
The Pitch: Tyler and Speedman play a married couple
who are terrified by masked strangers in what the synopsis refers to
as a "remote suburban house." (Note to Rogue PR flacks: There's
no such thing.)
The Buzz: We like Liv Tyler. We really do. But what
has she done since "Chasing Beauty" or "Heavy" to
indicate actual acting talent lurking beneath those lovely eyes? More
importantly, when was the last time she picked a decent script?
Trailer Highlight: None available.
Bottom Line: A screamer that screams "direct to
video."
Official Site: N/A
Hairspray (New Line, July 20)
Starring: John Travolta, Michelle Pfeiffer, Queen Latifah,
Christopher
Walken, Amanda Bynes, James Marsden, Brittany Snow, Nicole Blonsky,
Zac Efron, Allison Janney
Director: Adam Shankman
Rating: NR
The Pitch: An affectionately tacky musical about the
teenagers who shake their stuff at a dance show in 1950s Baltimore.
The Buzz: New Line turned John Waters' 1988 film into
a hit Broadway show a few years ago, so naturally, they're now making
the show into a movie again. Luckily, the similarly-developed "The
Producers" set the bar for this kind of thing so low that "Hairspray"
is already an unqualified success by default. Also, those shots of Travolta
in drag? Sort of amazing.
Trailer Highlight: None available.
Bottom Line: Remaking a cult classic is almost never
a good idea, but what the hell -- it's gotta be better than "Battlefield
Earth."
Official Site: N/A
I
Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (Universal, July 20)
Starring: Adam
Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica
Biel, Steve Buscemi, Dan Aykroyd, Nicholas Turturro, Richard Chamberlain,
Ving Rhames
Director: Dennis Dugan
Rating: NR
The Pitch: A pair of firefighters (Sandler and James)
enter into a sham gay marriage so one of them can...well, it's complicated,
and not really important anyway. All that matters is that their "marriage"
becomes big news, and in order to keep the illusion alive, Sandler and
James are forced into "not that there's anything wrong with that"
territory.
The Buzz: It's become difficult, if not impossible,
to trust Sandler at this point; for every "Punch-Drunk Love,"
there's a "Click," and he's in danger of becoming a spiritual
cinematic successor to Robin Williams. The setup's pretty good, though,
and nothing with Buscemi involved is ever truly awful.
Trailer Highlight: God help us, the whole thing is
full of laughs. Even Kevin James falling down a ladder is funny. Oh,
and Jessica Biel? Never hotter.
Bottom Line: If the execution lives up to the premise,
it could be one of the year's best comedies. If.
Official Site: http://www.chuckandlarry.com/
No Reservations (Warner Bros., July 27)
Starring: Catherine
Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart, Abigail Breslin, Patricia Clarkson, Jenny
Wade, Lily Rabe
Director: Scott Hicks
Rating: PG
The Pitch: A chef (Zeta-Jones) is given custody of
her niece (Breslin) after the child's mother dies; her new responsibilities
-- along with the sudden introduction of a new sous chef (Eckhart) to
her tightly run kitchen -- send her carefully managed life into chaos.
The Buzz: Zeta-Jones is undeniably beautiful. She's
also undeniably bad at the whole rom-com thing. When was the last time
you saw her generate any heat with a co-star? On the other hand, if
the trailer's anything to go by, she's got chemistry with Eckhart, and
Breslin, as always, is adorable.
Trailer Highlight: Bob Balaban, as Zeta-Jones' therapist.
Bottom Line: It looks decent, but we're not enthused.
Call it a rental.
Official Site: N/A
The
Simpsons Movie (20th Century Fox, July 27)
Starring: Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright,
Yeardley Smith, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer, Pamela Hayden, Tress MacNeille,
Albert Brooks
Director: David Silverman
Rating: NR
The Pitch: It's "The Simpsons." On the big
screen.
The Buzz: Okay, so the bloom has been off the rose
for awhile as far as the show's concerned, but its most recent seasons
haven't been bad -- just not as good as what we grew accustomed
to. Accordingly, while this might not be as funny -- or as lucrative
-- as it might have been in the early-to-mid '90s, it's still guaranteed
to be worth seeing.
Trailer Highlight: It's a tie between Flanders taking
Bart to Springfield's version of Four Corners and Homer being attacked
by a team of dogs.
Bottom Line: It's "The Simpsons." On the
big screen.
Official Site: http://www.thesimpsons.com/
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