CD Review of Villebillies by Villebillies

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Buy your copy from Amazon.com Villebillies:
Villebillies
no starno starno starno starno star Label: UMVD
Released: 2006
Buy from Amazon.com

The Villebilles’ PR folks sent their debut CD out like a viral video – everyone out here in music critic land got a copy, whether they wanted one or not. To make a long story short, it’s basically one of those discs you can see without hearing and know it’s going to be a waste of your good listening time. Get as far as actually opening the disc, and you’ll discover that there’s about a million guys in the band. We all know that a band with more than four or five members is basically only good for prog, but then you remember groups like Rush and realize that even in prog, sometimes less is more.

Another decent yardstick for an album’s quality is its current used price at Amazon, and the explicit version of this one (which is being reviewed here) is currently going for 88 cents, with the clean version fetching a mere 15. Like I said, everyone got a copy and no one cares. And of course, there are about five five-star reviews over there for the disc, all done by street teamers. Tell me, why can’t street-team kiddies write anything but autonomous crap for reviews? Here’s just a sample of a couple (typos left in):

“I never listen to this cd just once, it always plays at least twice, it draws me in...I Like it that much. It's their sound, their words, they have made exceptional music in their own unique style. Their honesty, talent, dedication. loyality......speak to me.....and I'm old enough to be their mother(s)!---- *life is what it is. explicit sometimes. If this cd wasn't so honest it would offend. I will cringe at a movie using the f word repeatedly, but these guys did this cd from the inside out. If you listen, you'll get it.”

“I've been a fan of the Villebillies for over two years, been to tons of shows and been given previously recorded tracks of theirs, but nothing comes close to what I heard on this CD. All the songs have been mastered just enough to make them sound new and totally fresh. It was definitely worth being 2 hours late to work to be able to get this CD as soon as it went on sale. I just can't say enough positive things about their ability to mix so many different genres of music, like rap, country, bluegrass, and hip-hop, together and still make it sound awesome.”

Obviously, the people of Louisville, Kentucky haven’t had much to do since the city’s greatest son, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, passed away. So they went from Gonzo to…the Villebillies. It’s more wack-ass white rap that tries to blend in country and rawk – and whatever other genres Kid Rock raped to create his own brand of Budweiser and Marlboro-infused poop – lest we forget the awesomeness that was once Bad Ronald. (To whom, incidentally, the Villebillies bear more of a resemblance, except they don’t do fun-time songs about weed and partying.)

The Villebillies bring you such clunkers as “I Got Moves,” a song that sounds like it was recorded by the local village idiot, and “Burnin’ Down the House” – which, thankfully, isn’t a cover of the Talking Heads song. No, this tune sounds like the kind of thing that high school football players might listen to while trying to get laid after a game, sitting on the hoods of their cars and downing as much “malt licka” as possible.

Speaking of booze, you can also trip through the stupidity of “Mr. Brown Bag” and “Whiskey.” Wait, let’s just stop. This CD isn’t going to matter in a million years, nor is this band. It’s that plain and simple, even if “ambZ” says “YALL ARE THE HOTTEST BAND THAT I KNOW OF RIGHT NOW!!! FUCKIN HOT!!! THE MUSIC IS SO FUCKING FRESH AN DOPE I CAN HARDLEY STAND IT!!! WOO WOO MAD FUCKIN LOVE NINJAZ” on the band’s MySpace page. It’s nice to know we don’t live in a world controlled by an army of ambZs, isn’t it?

We hope you’ve enjoyed this mercy review. Now get back to listening to something good.

~Jason Thompson